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Ms. Right Rejection Letter Since we live in a litigious society. I decided to apply this to the world of dating. Just in case you want to meet me (SWM 42)*, hit it off, date and things don't work out -- this binding rejection letter will cover all parties involved. Not to confuse you, I'll be entering you name and applying the checkmarks. This letter will be sent by certified mail.
Dear (____rejectee's name here____ ),
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Ms. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are smaller than mine.
___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy diaphragms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Your legs are bigger than mine. If I can FIT into your pants, then you can't GET into my pants.
___ You text message more than talk on the .
___ You think Nicholas Cage is hot.
___ You snore.
___ You don't separate the whites and colors when doing wash.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ You don't think Paris Hilton is hot.
___ I find your inability to only cook Pop Tarts extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The phrase "My Daddy " has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You like Celine Dion.
___ You mention your ex-boyfriend's or ex-'husband's name more than you mention mine.
* SWM 42 is an equal opportunity offender
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