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Hot mature ready sex dating fat women dating The alcoholic is blinded by denial. ‘I’m not that bad.’ ‘My family drives me to drink.’ ‘With a boss like mine, who wouldn’t drink?’ His rationalizing is often so convincing that the entire family join in the denial process. ‘Your father needs to unwind at the end of the day.’ ‘Dad needs to drink. He puts up with so much nagging from Mom.’ Anything but expose the family secret: Dad is an alcoholic. “That’s the only way they can coexist,” explains Dr. Forward. “Lies, excuses, and secrets are as common as air in these homes.” Family members cannot pull the alcoholic out of the quicksand until they first get themselves out. Some, ‘It’s the alcoholic who needs help, not me!’ But consider: How much are your emotions and actions bound up with the alcoholic’s behavior? How often do his actions cause you to feel anger, worry, frustration, fear? How times do you stay at home taking care of the alcoholic when you should be engaged in more important activity? When nonalcoholic family members take steps to improve their own lives, the alcoholic follow. Stop taking the blame. ‘If you treated me better, I wouldn’t have to drink,’ the alcoholic claim. “The alcoholic needs you to keep believing this so he can dump the responsibility for his drinking on you,” says counselor Rice Drews. Don’t fall for it. The alcoholic is dependent not just on alcohol but also on people who credit his denial. Family members thus unwittingly perpetuate the alcoholic’s drinking. A Bible proverb about loss of temper could apply equally to the alcoholic: “Let him take the consequences. If you get him out of trouble once, you have to do it again.” (Proverbs 19:19, Today’s English Version) Yes, let the alcoholic his boss, drag himself to bed, clean up after himself. If the family does such things for him, they are only helping him drink himself to death. Get help.
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