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1. Be married or not, men don't really care.
2. Live with a yappy dog and bring it with you everywhere
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4. Be sure that box is marked "Smokes occasionally" yeah, sure.
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13. Be unemployed and living off that fat alimony or home sale split your lawyer got from that last poor bastard.
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15. Tell him you love beach combing for oil slicks, can recycling and staring at the young surfers.
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17. Don't own a T.V.
18. Cry about the number of years you wasted with that asshole, and don't forget to make the number less that your listed age.
19. Wear plenty of make-up, perfume, and "padding" on that first date. Lures men right in.
20. Be 40 minutes late for your date. Just like pre-heating the oven.
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